Turtle Soup and True Confessions
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: If channel 4 weren't careful rather than a fun cookery show they may have their first ever snuff show when they killed each other leaving no one to win on the last day and nothing but a pile of bodies to fill the closing credits.
1. Chapter 1

**Turtle soup and true confessions 1/7**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Nicola/Ollie (hints throughout but no real shipping action till the last chapter!)

**Rating:- **M

**Achieve:- ** **http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/**

**Summary:- **If channel 4 weren't careful rather than a fun cookery show they may have their first ever snuff show when they killed each other leaving no one to win on the last day and nothing but a pile of bodies to fill the closing credits.

**Author's Note:- **Written for Gee's "Come dine with me" challenge where a character/characters have to take part in "come dine with me". Usual rating warnings apply I'm not going into them all if it's a TTOI fic and it's written by me you know the warnings backwards language, sexual content .etc! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely!

"Right everyone into the conference room and don't fuckin argue I have something to tell you all and that goes for you too Glen even fuck wits are involved in this!" Malcolm shouted getting out of the lift and storming through the DoSAC office like a foul mouthed whirl wind. "Come on Nicola get off the fuckin phone your brats can look after their fuckin selves for half an hour I've got news and it's fuckin big!"

"It better be fucking big!" Nicola shouted finally making it into the conference room and slamming the door as Ollie, Glen and Teri visibly backed away clearly expecting a full on Nicola/Malcolm row in the offing. "Now the fucking political correspondent for the Times has just cum in his fucking boxers at the thought of what your "big" news might be so I suggest you spit it out and then get back to your office and sit on him and do it fast before it's the front page splash in tomorrow's Times that we….."

"What happened to fuckin warning me when you were going to open your fuckin mouth to a reporter I mean fuck me sideways Nicola what the hell were you doing on the phone to the Times at 8 in the fucking morning I…"

"You organised it and rang me at fucking 11 last night and sprang it on me so…"

"Aye, that's right well I'll call him and tell him if I see the words DoSAC, big and "a source close to the minister….." in his paper any time in the next seven days I'll pull his balls out through his mouth that should shut him up!" Malcolm interrupted the lowering of his tone forcing Ollie to choke back a laugh. Malcolm hated to be stopped mid rant to be reminded he started the shit storm to begin with so much as I would love to watch the mouth Scot continue to try to dig himself out of the hole he heard himself step in.

"What's the fucking announcement Malcolm? None of us is getting any younger and some of us, like Glen, here have less time to waste than others!" He sighed as the other man stared at the sheet of paper in his hand like he'd almost managed to forget why he'd turned up in the first place.

"Yeah ok. Well not to beat around the fuckin bush but the PM has had a call from his friend the director of channel 4 and they want to do a political special of that shitty "Come dine with me" or whatever the fuck it is. He told him no problem and said you four and me would do it." Malcolm explained holding up his hand as they all opened their mouths to object. "Before you start with all the fucking reasons why this is the worst idea since the millennium fuckin dome I'm with you on that but I've had the fuckin argument already and all it got me was another fuckin ulcer and an hour less of my fuckin life so save it!"

"Malcolm this really isn't fucking funny what are you really here for?" Nicola sighed leaning back against the wall with her arms folded over her chest as the others looked at Malcolm as well each clearly praying she was right and the whole idea was some sort of wind up.

"What do you think has happened Nicola? Do I look like Jeremy fuckin Beadle? Do you think I went to bed last night and woke up as the next Noel fuckin Edmonds? Of course it's not funny did you miss the bit about having a fuckin slanging match with the Prime Minister of the country over the fuckin thing? We're doing it and we have no fuckin choice. Not only that but we're going to be on prime time channel 4 every fuckin night for a week which frankly is my idea of fucking hell because it gives you lot way too much scope to show the general public what a shower of village idiots you are and potentially bring down not just the government but the whole fucking country in the process."

"Let me get this straight." Glen said, talking for the first time since they'd all entered the room. "We are expected to do this fucking TV shite, what the hell is it? Why would the PM agree to it and who the fuck does one of us have to screw to make it go away?"

"It's a cookery program, it's not bad actually I record it every evening. Five people go around each other's homes and whoever's house it is that night cooks then the others all score their food whoever has the highest score at the end of the week wins." Teri explained already clearly warming to the idea much more than anyone else in the room.

"What do we win?" Ollie snarled "The right to tell the PM and anyone else who comes up with stupid fucking ideas to go fuck themselves while we get on with the job we're actually here for?"

"Look at these and memorise them and you all better get fuckin practicing because if you think I'm going to eat fuckin shite for a week you've another thing coming. You'll be filmed cooking the meal and serving it so no fuckin cheating trust me I checked that!" Malcolm continued throwing 4 folders on the table. "We start filming next Monday and your First Ollie so make it fuckin good I'm off to see if there's a gas oven in the fuckin building."

"God he's practicing already I might have fucking known it wouldn't matter how much you hated the idea you'd still want to fucking win!" Nicola said with a hollow laugh as Malcolm stopped with his handle on the door and turned to face her.

"I don't give a fuck who wins so long as none of you make a fuckin fool of yourself, I'm looking for a fuckin gas oven to stick my fuckin head in because trust me I'd rather fuckin die than spend every night next week eating shite you lot have cooked." He shouted before going out the door and slamming it behind him.

"It might not be that bad it's a good show and the commentator is hilarious." Teri smiled before grimacing slightly as the others stared at her venomously.

"Do you think that gas oven he's looking for might have room for two people?" Ollie sighed glancing at Nicola as she shrugged before lifting her own information pack off the table and following Malcolm to the door.

"If there was he wouldn't share it with you he's too fucking competitive he'll want to be headlines on his own if he is going to gas himself. What I can tell you is no matter what he says he's going to want to win this so it's our job to make sure he doesn't. Take those files, read them inside out and backward and then go decide what you're cooking, take fucking cookery lessons from you Mother or your granny or Gordon fucking Ramsay if you have to just make sure that next week when we start this fucking nightmare we can all produce one descent three course meal because it doesn't matter which of you fuck up it'll be me the press crucify for it." She snapped waiting for them all to nod before she left the room heading for her own office trying to work out how the hell they were going to get through a whole week of not only working together but socialising together too. Somehow she had a feeling that bad food might be the least of their worries. If channel 4 weren't careful rather than a fun cookery show they may have their first ever snuff show when they killed each other leaving no one to win on the last day and nothing but a pile of bodies to fill the closing credits.


	2. Chapter 2

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Turtle soup and true confessions 2/?

Sitting on the floor of his home with his laptop open on the floor beside him and a yellow legal pad on his lap Ollie spoke into the mobile he had on speaker on the sofa behind him

"So I have to do three courses Mum and I don't cook! You really need to help me out this is going to be on TV and everything I look at online needs 30 ingredients, a load of time and 20 years cooking experience to make."

"Well you need to stop looking online for a start." His mother laughed as he heard her mutter quietly for a second, obviously filling his father in on the reason for the call before continuing. "I assume you aren't allowed to just have me or a firm of caterers bring the food to you and you just serve it?"

"No, trust me Malcolm checked that, they'll be filming me cooking at everything. It's a fucking nightmare."

"Language Oliver it isn't necessary to swear to make every point. What happened to my little boy who would never have considered being so foul mouthed?"

"He grew up, got into politics and now has to feed 4 people on national TV without making an ass of himself!" Ollie sighed starting to regret making the call in the first place, truth be told his mother had not been his first choice of helper but when he'd called his sister she wasn't in and her husband had informed him that she wouldn't be back until Sunday which left him no time to organise anything since he was being filmed on Monday.

"OK have you got a pen and some paper?"

"Yeah but they can't eat pens and paper."

"Don't be facetious Oliver if you want me to help just write down the ingredients I'm going to tell you then call for them on the way home tomorrow. I'll get Daddy to bring me down and we'll make the three courses tomorrow night then you'll know what you're doing and will have the recipes for you filming on Monday. It'll be fine sweetheart."

"I'm not so sure but go I'm ready." Ollie replied as he jotted down the lengthy list of ingredients his mother dictated. Unlike her he had absolutely no confidence that one night's practice and a well written recipe was going to help when it came to doing it for real on Monday but he had no choice so he was prepared to cling to whatever he could and hope that he didn't make a complete idiot of himself on national television.

"I thought politicians these days were trying to put across a better image why the hell would the Prime Minister want you all doing something like this?" Stephen Alexander asked as Glen handed him a glass of wine and then sat in the armchair facing him. He'd come home still dreading the thought of taking part in the TV show and when he'd got there the only thing he could think to do was ring one of his oldest friends who also happened to be executive chef at one of Covent Garden's most popular restaurants.

"He was asked by the head of channel 4 and since they both belong to the same gentleman's club I surmise that the PM was pissed as a fart when he agreed then couldn't get out of it. I need your help, I need you to give me some ideas for things that take 5 minutes to prepare but look stunning on a plate. I will not be the fucking laughing stalk of this which they will be setting me up to be. Ollie will be having his hand held by his mother, Teri and Nicola are women and they will be able to throw something together and Malcolm will be pulling out all the fucking stops because he'll want to win which leaves me as the fucking class clown so I need help!" Glen replied staring at his friend as he laughed.

"Glen can't I just put something together at the restaurant and you can stick it in the oven and put it on plates?"

"No Malcolm said we can't cheat but even ignoring him I've been thinking about it all afternoon and there is no way to do it they will be here from first thing on Tuesday morning filming me supposedly cooking the food if I have a load of neatly organised trays ready to just be put in the oven then serve them up."

"Yeah I get that but maybe there's a way round it." Stephen replied setting his wine glass down on the coffee table and reaching for the notepad on the coffee table. "You know you've seen it on TV all the time the "here's one I made earlier" effect. If I have things prepared for you and you have them in the oven you could do all the prep, put what you've prepared into the oven but take out what I have made when the time comes."

"Surely that could never work. Could it?"

"If you do exactly what I tell you to I don't see why not."

"Ok run through it with me, see I knew you were the right person to call we'll bury the others!" Glen smiled as his friend started to run through how their plan could work and he suddenly felt so much more confident about the whole thing. With his secret weapon on board he was sure to beat them all then who'd be the class clown?

"I know! Can you believe it? I'm actually going to be on "Come dine with me" the others are all devastated but I can't wait!" Teri said excitedly staring at her sister through the built in webcam on her laptop. She'd been desperate to call Mary from the moment she'd heard the news that morning but they hadn't had two minutes free all day. Now with the evening to herself she was enjoying passing the news on and discussing her favourite show with her sister via Skype.

"Can any of them even cook Teri? Don't they spend most of their time living on ready meals and coffee?" Mary laughed as Teri ran over her opposition in her mind.

"Well I'm sure Nicola has cooked at some point. She has kids but I'm not sure sticking some chicken nuggets and frozen chips in the oven will cut it for come dine. As for the others I'd say no Glen could be a bit of a dark horse he knows a lot of people who could advise him, Ollie's Mummy still fills his freezer with meals every month that he just has to nuke in the microwave so I'm pretty sure his cooking abilities extend to burning toast."

"And Malcolm?"

"I have no idea, if he can't cook he'll spend every spare minute between now and when his day is making sure someone is teaching him and with his contacts his teacher could be anyone. He got Jamie Oliver in to meet the PM last year so he probably owes him a favour and Gordon Ramsay did the last Downing Street garden party. He could be my biggest competition."

"You'll still be able to beat him Teri." Mary reassured her excited smile making Teri laugh. "What are you planning on cooking?"

"That's why I called I need some advice. I was thinking of Figs, Parma ham and goats cheese for starter, then Lamb Tagine and Mummy's bread and butter pudding for afters." Teri explained watching as her sister shook her head clearly unimpressed by what she was suggesting. "See this is why I need you, you've always been good at seeing the holes in things what do you think I should change?"

"Well you've no theme for a start, I mean you've a classic Italian starter, a Moroccan main and a classic British desert. You know the people who do best always have a theme. Have you seen todays yet?"

"No I called you the second I came in was it good?" Teri asked listening as her sister explained that the contestant that day had done and entirely American diner themed menu before suggesting that she follow suit.

"What about an Italian bistro you could keep your figs them maybe do Tiramisu for desert and come up with something for the main that fits with the theme."

"I love it! I knew you'd know what to do I'll go watch todays then call you back!" Teri smiled clicking disconnect with her mouse before heading for the kitchen to get a snack and settle down to watch her favourite program. She knew she had an advantage, the others didn't even know what the format was until Malcolm explained and as the show started and the typically sarcastic comments from the voice over started she couldn't help but smile. He could be cutting and hilarious about average people who did the show and she had a feeling that when he got his teeth into the others he'd tear them to shreds and she couldn't wait.

Sitting at his desk Malcolm looked at the sheets of paper around him eventually gathering them up and putting them back in the red dispatch box that the undersecretary to the PM was due to pick up any second. He'd not been at all concerned about whether the briefing paper was accurate or if it even made sense all he wanted was to get it proof read and then go back to focusing on his main issue of the moment. Come Dine with Me and in particular winning the show.

"Is this ready to go Mr Tucker?" Sebastian Phelps asked startling him for a moment as he perused the computer screen for gourmet recipes.

"Yeah, yeah just fuckin take it Phelps can't you see I'm busy here?" he snapped back minimising the screen and staring at the other man.

"Are you swotting up for your 15 minutes of fame? You know the entire building thought you'd tell Tom to go fuck himself and I have to say I agreed with them, daytime channel 4 tele didn't exactly strike me as your sort of thing."

"It's fuckin not but if I have to do it I intend on fuckin winning those DoSAC wankers aren't beating me. So why don't you jog fuckin on and let me get back to it." Malcolm growled trying to ignore the fact that the other man wasn't moving and instead seemed to be finding the whole thing hilarious. "Was there something else you wanted or are you just waiting for me to knock your fuckin teeth down your throat?"

"Fine if you don't want to know what I know I'll leave you to it but I've heard the minister is quite the cook when she gets going so be prepared. My son's in the same year at school as hers and before she joined the cabinet the PTA used to torture her for her chilli and her curry for their pot luck fundraising suppers. My wife still raves that she makes the best baked salmon mouse she's ever tasted after we went to her Christmas Eve party a few years ago. " Sebastian replied walking off and pretending he didn't hear Malcolm calling him back as he walked into the PM's outer office smiling smugly to himself.

"Shitting fuckin useless bitch had to end up being good at something I suppose now what are you going to do Malc?" He muttered to himself turning back to the computer and opening the cookery page again even more determined than he had been before to find something out of this world to knock the others out with. It would be bad enough to get beaten at all but to be shown up by Nicola Fuckin Murray would be a step too far.

"Mum you have got to win!" Toby Murray said firmly as he sat around the table with his mother and sisters listening to her explain how she was going to be on the channel four cookery program that their nanny insisted on watching every afternoon in spite of Eliza and Ella's constant complaints that they would rather have the music channels on.

"He's right Mum I mean you are definitely a better cook than Ollie, Glen and Malcolm are going to be and Teri looks like she eats mainly takeaways and junk. If you do this and loose we'll never live it down in school." Emily agreed glancing at her sisters who had Nicola's hand written recipe folder spread out on the table and were arguing over what would be best to serve.

"Girls can you keep the debate down a little while I try to think?" Nicola laughed looking around the table at her children as she spoke. When she'd got home she'd been dreading telling them that she was being forced to take part in the show she was convinced that they would be appalled, embarrassed, and generally completely against the whole thing. What she'd forgotten to take into account was the inbuilt competitiveness all of them had inherited in spades from their father. Now they had sat her down for what was reminiscent of a G8 summit to work out what she should cook. "Don't get your hopes up kids, Malcolm will play dirty and I don't think we should underestimate Teri either. Not only that but Glen might cook I've never asked him and Ollie has a mother who cooks for him and brings it all down for his freezer once a month I'm sure he'll have her over giving him lessons between now and Monday when it's his turn."

"Yeah but you're the last to cook Mummy." Ella smiled "you'll have the advantage of seeing what everyone else has cooked before you do."

"I still have to tell the producers what I'm cooking before the day so I can't change my mind after I submit my menu."

"Then we'll just have to make sure that yours is the best before you give it to them won't we?" Eliza replied the fiery determination in her eyes making Nicola smile. She loved the fact that they had so much faith in her and she knew they all had their preferences from the folder they were now all flicking through. She even knew that everything in it she could cook and cook well, but in recent months she'd realised that even things she should be able to do with her eyes closed were difficult when she was under pressure. If she'd invited Teri, Ollie, Glen and Malcolm to dinner on her own terms she was sure she could blow their socks off. With the added pressure of TV cameras and having been fed by them every other night that week though, not to mention the snide comments and back stabbing she knew would go on throughout, she couldn't shift the feeling in the pit of her stomach that it was all going to go terribly, terribly wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Turtle soup and true confessions 3/?

"Mum I'm not sure about this, it all looks a bit complicated, I want to be able to make the fu….flipping thing." Ollie sighed, ignoring the warning stare from his mother at his almost slip from acceptable language. Glancing along the counter top in his small kitchen he groaned again at the million and one ingredients that seemed to have taken it over. Since his mother had been dropped off by his father an hour before she had barely paused for breath running through them, ticking things off on the long list in her hand, and muttering about seasoning and using the correct pans. He was beginning to seriously regret calling her in the first place but he knew to tell her to forget about it now would not only be pointless but would cause a row he didn't have time to have.

"Oliver if you are going to be on Come Dine With Me you are going to produce something worth eating! I have friends who watch that program religiously and I will now have them saying my son can't cook."

"But Mum I can't cook!"

"Well you are going to pretend that you can. Now we are going to start with a simple mushroom risotto…."

"No we're not." Ollie interrupted shaking his head firmly and setting the packet of dried Porcini mushrooms she'd lifted aside. "Nicola doesn't eat mushrooms, she hates them. We can't cook anything with mushrooms."

"You are feeding four people Ollie you will not be able to please all of them but if the risotto is well made she'll eat it."

"She won't and I know we won't necessarily be able to please all of them but we are not doing something that Nicola will hate…." Ollie replied realising that his mother was staring at him strangely, clearly tuning in to his determination to please Nicola above all the others when it came to planning his menu and panicking slightly that she would see through him to the reasons why. "You want me to win to please your friends why risk getting a terrible scores from Nicola when all we'd have to do is change the starter."

"You do remember she's a married woman don't you Oliver." His mother smiled as he breathed a sigh of relief at the joking edge to her tone and the fact that he appeared to have gotten away with his slip and turned his attention back to the plans she was making for the main course.

"Stephen I still don't see how this is going to work." Glen sighed looking at the half a dozen trays that his friend had laid out in his kitchen ready for their dry run. Since their initial discussion the chef had become single minded in his determination to make sure that Glen stood a chance in the show and when he'd turned up that night, the boot of his car full of things from the restaurant to help achieve that aim, he'd said they were going to do a dry run and feed a group of their friends that he'd invited.

"It will work if you just do what I tell you to. You have 4 friends coming tonight who want you to win so if there's any problems or hitches they'll tell you and help to iron them out then you can get through it fine on Tuesday when you have to do it for real." Stephen replied pointing at the three trays that were already full of food as he continued. "Now these three you have in the oven already so when you do the whole prep for the cameras thing and put the oven on they start cooking right away I've deliberately picked things that need slow cooking so it won't matter if they are in the oven for a couple of hours while you're recording your to camera pieces."

"How do you know the format it will take what if they want to see inside the oven?"

"The show producer is a regular at the restaurant it's amazing what an extra bottle of champers on the house can get out of people."

"Really?" Glen smiled feeling his confidence grow a little as his friend smiled and started to run through the menu he'd prepared. When he'd spoken to his friend the day before and he'd devised a plan to help him get through his night on the reality TV program he'd been completely unconvinced and sure that he was still going to make a fool of himself now he was starting to believe he might pull it off. "Ok what are we….I mean am I, making?"

"Your starter is easy a chicken liver parfait with Melba toast, you can have the toast made in advance, the parfait is just a case of throwing everything in the blender and then into the dish I'll give you to set in the fridge. Then you're main course is all slow roasted so you throw the ingredients into the spare trays, you don't have to be accurate just make it look good, put it all in the oven and when it comes time to lift it out take mine out instead."

"OK and for desert?"

"That's the bit I'm most proud of, you don't have to do anything other than set out the chocolate fountain, which is over there in the box, and chop some fruit. People put what they want on the end of the fondue fork and drip it in the fountain." Stephen replied, pointing at the box in the corner as Glen smiled.

"Perfect, Teri will love that and even Malcolm might be made a bit more pliable after lots of booze and melted chocolate." He said quietly watching as Stephen showed him how to prepare the joint of beef and the vegetables suddenly looking forward to their week of stardom much more than he had been before.

"Where are we going first?" Teri smiled as she stopped at her sister Mary got into the car outside her home smiling broadly.

"It's up to you, it's your party. This is so exciting, I know we're going shopping for table wear but you have to be getting something new to wear too. You're going to be on Come Dine you have to have something fabulous!"

"I thought we'd go get new crockery and glasses then come home via the outlet centre," Teri replied pulling out into traffic again before reaching into the pocket of the door beside her and handing the information pack Malcolm had given her to her sister.

"I can't believe you are actually going to be on it, do you get to meet the voice over fella, I love him can you imagine what he'll have to say about Malcolm? I hope channel four have their "bleep" machine fully charged if he gets going they'll not be able to show it at 5:30 it'll have to be Come Dine after dark!" Mary continued flicking through the information pack as Teri shook her head.

"Apparently no one meets the voice over guy, he sees all the footage after it's edited and does his thing then. He doesn't have any contact with the contestants, probably so he can be as nasty as he wants about them without any conscience. He's going to have a field day with all of them. Can you imagine Nicola trying to be organised enough to get through a day's cooking and hosting without melting down every two minutes? As for Glen he's not exactly sparkling personality of the year he'd give John fucking Major a run for his money in the "world's greyest man" contest and Ollie couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery." Teri laughed pulling into the car park of John Lewis as her sister nodded in agreement.

"You'll wipe the floor with them and I am going to have such fun watching you do it. With our combined background knowledge on the program they'll not stand a chance." Mary said firmly as they got out of the car and headed inside to find the perfect dinnerware on which to serve her sister's winning food.

Closing the door of his flat Malcolm set the Waterstones bag down on the kitchen table before adding two Waitrose bags to the pile. He'd spent the entire previous night researching all sorts of themes for his night and in the end after a quick call he'd decided if he was going to win he was going to have to go all out. Several hours of viewing on 4OD had shown him that the night's that scored the highest were those that had a distinct theme and the theme he'd decided on was a Victorian Feast. He'd informed the show's producers of his menu and told them he wanted a costume requirement added to his scroll and now all he had to do was perfect his menu. The three bird roast seemed easy enough and even the three tiered jelly mould didn't seem too difficult but his starter "Mock turtle soup" was going to take some practice.

"Ok Heston don't let me down or next time you want to come to the PM with some bleeding heart fucking cause of local producers or kiddies eating shite in school you'll have more chance of seeing the fucking Pope." He muttered pulling "Heston's Fantastical Feasts" from the Waterstones bag and checking the index before opening it at the right page.

Scrolling through the ingredients he ignored his mobile as it started to ring not caring who was looking for him or why as he realised that the online synopsis of the recipe had left out several of the key ingredients.

"What the fuck are enoki fuckin mushrooms and how much is fuckin truffles going to set me back?" He muttered before lifting his phone and speed dialling his secretary. "It's me…do I sound like I fuckin care that it's Saturday?...It'll only take you a minute anyway I want the number of The Fat Duck and I want you to call and tell them I need Heston fuckin Blumenthal to call me at home and if they try to flannel you tell them the Queen's Garden Party contract is coming up and if the whack job fucking nutty chef wants it this year he'd be as well to keep me fuckin sweet."

Disconnecting the phone and slamming it down on the counter he went to the went to the cupboard pulling out a bottle of vintage scotch and pouring some into a crystal tumbler and downing it. He was more determined to win the show than he had been about anything in his life and if that meant pulling fucking rank on some over hyped mad scientist meets Delia fucking Smith then that was what he'd do.

"Nicola what the fuck is going on?" James shouted normally entering the kitchen at 11 am on an average Saturday morning meant finding four surly children and a wife with her nose stuck in a red briefing box. Today though the kitchen table was covered in hand written recipes from her folder which the kids were sorting into piles and she was raiding the larder pulling out ingredients he didn't even recognise.

"We're helping Mum get ready for the Come Dine with Me thing next week." Ella replied excitedly as he rolled his eyes and pulled his jacket on.

"Thank fuck I'll be well out of it, that's me Nic I'll be back this day next week I'm not sure what time."

"Whatever, just let me know if you'll be back for Sunday dinner." Nicola sighed only glancing up from the ladder when she knew he'd have turned his back and watching him go. They'd both given up pretending that he could possibly have any business to do in his Durham office that meant he had to stay there a full week, or leave on a Saturday to be there. He didn't bother making excuses and she didn't bother asking she'd accepted years before that he had given up being faithful and she no longer cared who he was spending his nights with on his regular business trips. For now she just wanted him to go so that she could get back to planning with her children and enjoying the fact that they seemed excited about something she was doing for the first time in too long.

"Mum, are you ok?" Toby asked startling her as he looked over her shoulder into the ladder and she put on her best smile before turning to face him.

"Of course I am sweetie now how are you and the girls getting on trying to sort through the recipes? I'm always saying I need to organise that file." She smiled abandoning the larder and moving to the table where her daughters had just finished sorting recipes into piles of starters, main courses and deserts.

"Now that we've got them into categories we need to pick one from each I say we take a pile each." Emily instructed making Nicola laugh at the way her oldest daughter had taken on the role of leader in the operation handing out piles of sheets of paper to her siblings before turning her attention back to the counter where the ingredients they had in the store cupboard. "Mum you need to…..What? Am I being too bossy? I….."

"No Ems, no you're doing a great job I was just thinking how the hell did I end up having a daughter like you, there are days I can barely organise myself enough to get dressed and out the door and yet you can switch it on and have everything running like clockwork in 5 minutes."

"Yeah well I remember a woman who used to have this house running like clockwork too I learned from the best even if you have got a bit scatty these days." Emily smiled turning to Eliza as she held up a recipe announcing that she'd found the perfect desert. "Now how about we get on with this and beat the living crap out of the others when they come here on Friday?"

"I can't think of anything I'd like to do more." Nicola laughed joining the debate about the double chocolate fudge cake that Eliza had chosen and smiling to herself as she thought just how little the others realised what they were up against. Forget her, when her kids decided something was going to happen there was no force on earth that could stop them.


End file.
